Your comments are way out of touch with the reality of this job market, especially here in Silicon Valley where the unemployment rate is now ~12%.
You wrote that you are "SHOCKED" when you contact someone about a potential position and they say, "let me do some work on my resume and get back to you". That is actually an extremely wise response.
In this job market a candidate does not stand a chance of being considered if their resume does not exactly match the qualifications that the employer is seeking. Knowledgeable career counselors will tell you that candidates must tune their resume to the position they are applying for. "Ready to go" resumes will end up in the discard pile with hundreds of others. This is especially true for those of us with more than a few years of experience, with accomplishments in more than one area.
Also, saying what you did is not enough. A resume must show how what you did impacted a company's business in a quantifiable way.